I’m Not a Plus Size Lady Who Loves Her Body

I was intrigued by the Body Positive concept. Driven by curiosity only, I’ve just recently started to follow a couple of ladies on Instagram, who promote this concept. Some of them are doing it in a very classy and smart manner, others doing it completely wrong. Usually by posting their borderline nude photos in order to prove that an overweight body size can be sexy. When it comes to being sexy and attractive, I have learned a long time ago that it’s totally a matter of taste. But, what became very clear to me after following those posts (mostly videos) for a few months, is that most of them are truly happy only when they announce to their followers how many kilos they lost during the last diet program. They fake happiness in all of their posts. For example, when they explain to their followers how brave they felt wearing a bikini by the pool. Still, the only real sparkle in their eyes is the one you see when they announce proudly that they were 102kg, and that now they’re 99,8. 

What does this have to do with their careers or career in general? Well, first of all, some of them are earning considerable amounts of money, because plus size ladies are a good target audience for many products. So, think about your own niche. It’s always possible if you have right approach. 

But what’s more important is the following confession that I have to make.

I used to be that fat lady claiming she’s happy being fat. 

I have been trying, during the last couple of years, to explain to myself that success is not my main driver. 

And it’s true – I have managed to understand better what success is and what kind of success is meaningful to me, but I will never be able to fully stand behind the popular “it’s about journey, not the destination” phrase.

Because, destination is important to me. Yes, I admit. Instead of being more relaxed and more in peace because now I don’t push toward any big success in my career, I actually started feeling more and more nervous. I used this nervousness to start working out, so I’m also not a plus size man anymore. That’s body positive if you ask me. My body is grateful. 

A positive thing that happened to me is that I have changed the battlefield or, how I prefer to see it now: the playground.

Don’t get me wrong: I want the journey to be fun, exciting and pleasant – but I’m also ready to expose myself to many unpleasant and challenging situations in order to find myself at the end of my journey at exactly the right destination that I have imagined. Destination called success! 

For a while I have been feeling that I’m not successful enough and that it’s much better to claim that I’m not interested in being more successful. Similar to being plus size and claiming that is not important to be normal sized, or even slim. You might ask, if you take a look at my CV – why is it that I thought I’m not successful enough. It’s a decent CV. I hold more than a decent position. But, since we’re comparing, let’s not stray too far from our topic of the day: you know those people that look themselves in the mirror and each time think they are too fat. And they only have about 40 kg. Well, the same type of disorder can be manifested in other areas of life: take ambition, for example.

A positive thing that happened to me is that I have changed the battlefield or, how I prefer to see it now: the playground. I have managed to acquire a better understanding of what kind of success is important to me. If I’m going to sacrifice and compromise many things in my life in order to fight for something that is very important for me and my ego, I better be pretty sure that this something is the right kind of something. Otherwise, you get this constant feeling of “not successful enough”.

I still stand behind my words written in the post titled Letting Go: Killing Your Vertical Ambition. Because my ambition now is not to climb any stairs – especially not in a house that I don’t care about – but to jump immediately to the roof of the house I want to be in! 

Being true to yourself is never easy. But not being is even harder – at least to me. 

I’m taking this opportunity to say cheers with  a glass of wine that was a discovery of the year to me: Vranec Special Selection by Tikves

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